i want to be as quiet as graveyard

to tell honest the truth that i am very tired with what badly relationship i am facing every days. in these past few years. i am torlerent with hardship for what my brother () did at night that i can't bear anymore. and one or at least i will have arugement to beg him to sleep early as time for i 've taken for sleeping. isn't tht hardly to overcome? not, admittedly, i think he doesn't know exactly what i told for the demand that to beg him go to sleep early, however, he pretend doesn't heard anything at all. worser than you might thinks is that i shout at my father and mother for what non-resistive defending home behaviour. i shouts because of arguing for what my neglectable brother custom to get sleep lately.....because he have made me unconscienous and out of touching for my plans.

These years i wanna to get sleep early and quietly with no anyone to disturbed and interfered in every night, my heart felt burnt and drilled with sand that make night hardly to fade out or sollowing down every breathe i 've taken. the arugement seems to him nothing but to me it weigth overloaded and tension with muscles in evry joints of my body. my neck feel panic when i bend my head to read and moves a little bit of posture while turning elsewhere.How would you comforts yourself if you pay attention and  pain resulted in that was caused by someone? even though my bed seems a stone that for my laying every night accompying with panic on shoulder as well as light pollution. the light has been polluted from the source in passage of the housing, i have been stood this problem for about 6 years or longer. i know, when anyone of you read here will suspends for what i am describing yet for the apartment unfacilities and fortunated non idealy. i accepts for any one of you firing-bullets words towards me.

Things to be blamed for non-sceond thinking custom seems infinitity that to mark down.

housing authority planning failed by what he was done.housing cleaning seems far from him to be achieved.the healthy of parents with enconmic situation were things seems to him far as distance as Mar located in Space.or even the process of applying house had been cancelled by him. only him him him him. damn!

indeed, because of his idily behaviour. i will think twice to make friend with other or cautionously to keep it as secrets to let them know for what i worry about go back home. i am afraids of letting people know how bad relationship i am living with brother. but unfortunately, this "idealy made" relationship were not secret anymore in relative's eye now.

we both seems two very reactive chemical that once allows to be mixed. such a dangerous sample is untouch and beware of.....

how would i say for help? the bad nightmare seems unlimited and 'll be back next year. i am ready for the flash of it revealling la...

The vision of pervious days!~!~!

when i was lying on the bed at front of the monitor. i have a thought which seemed groundbreaking products on my mind. everytime it seems there's no glory in the past of my life. from the age of primary and secondary years. although i have been taken several modals from sports competition except swimming gala.these glorous days passed by as fast as flash. however, these modals 've disappered by my neglected behaviour.

i have no evidence that i have been given and defeated competition in the past. i am a person who has been forgotten by teachers and friends. speaking frankly, i was not so talktive and active in every aspect of school-life period. but there was no denied that i was the one who had been stood out and voice lound against teachers while there were unfair treatment for students.

i was always acting as a bad guy on every students' mind.however. not too much. so far so good la way...

i was shoched when i know how soon the news would have been told and came of Money have get married and [preganacy].????

today, i found the page of Money's xanga blog which tells about the history and her own opinion of being stressed and nervious. her life seems too stretched out and witered. although she strongly states thier courtship should have last for ever, however, aren't it ture? in fact, she really know how her Husbund or boyfriend is being childlish, which was stated on 29-08-2009 after they had  afford the fees for movies.......[我地任性地喺埋一齊~~]  >愛情.....>pk ????

i known her when i was working in Ncw. Because of the same age and the experience of her life was being changed accidently. i know they would have long-lasting unexpected future than i would have been in when i am getting older.how dried and bitter of these news should been ha. ironcally, all of these things is caused by doing wrong!!!!!????

this was frist time to have a look on Money's xanga blog through KitKit's blog!

Questions:

1) am i always declined to negative side of thinking in daily?

2) am i so pk in learning things?

3) why my world is so cold? i feels very strange and confused about that.

4) why my childwood was so un-educated by others. sometime, indeed, i wanna voice out " i need help !!!!", but people seems always stared at me and spiting to me.it really make me dried out and witered. some people says i am standing on negative side, they were right! because i looks not always so strong as you may consider it would been.

5) how long would or should have affected me by this nightmare. pk!!

thank you Sam yu allows me to recall it again, meanwhile i am angry with what you made to have a thought on that point again............sha la la la la...

BYE BYE Sam yu!

1, sorry for no participate in retun to NCW.

2, NO joining together

3, i calls you several times by phone but out of service in your mobile, even fail to send MSN.

4, write you back with letters later.

5, good luck and enjoys the journey while you are on the way back.